Thoughts for Sunday night....

Well the weather outside is fright full for anyone living in the sad state of Missouri/Kansas.
It's cold outside and my heart is just as cold. It seems like every time a holiday rolls around I end up feeling sorry for my self and getting depressed (in a stretch of the word). I forget what the purpose of my life is...
Why do people like me? Sometimes I wonder...
After watching You've God Mail last week I've been thinking a lot about my life.
"Sometimes I wonder about my life. I lead a small life. Well, not small, but valuable. And sometimes I wonder, do I do it because I like it, or because I haven't been brave? So much of what I see reminds me of something I read in a book, when shouldn't it be the other way around? I don't really want an answer. I just want to send this cosmic question out into the void. So good night, dear void."
This is exactly the way I feel about my life. It's hard to deal with the fact that people will let you down. Sooner or later, no matter how close they are to you, they will always let you down. It because we are a fallen race. It's not really our fault...but sometimes it's hard to see things this way.
Sometimes I wonder about love. It's this strange thing that God has placed in our world...and sometimes I wonder if He just put it here to get a good laugh out of the human race. No one fully understands how it works, why we feel empty without it, and why we love who we love.
Last week Becca and I, during our weekly "therapy session", we asked the question "if I died...what would happen?" No one goes around telling their friends "if you died, I would miss you, and so would all the human race". But that's what we think in our hearts. What true friend would you not feel this about? We just forget to tell them this. We take for granted all that we have been given. We don't realize how much we depend on those we love, until they are taken away from us. I don't know if my friends will read this, but I love you all, so much. Even if you do let me down, even if I never impact your life, I still love you, and I can't imagine my life with out any of you.

St. Joe Spike

The girls from the Club volleyball team I played for last year (Eclipse) all moved up to the 18's division this year, and so I was in search of a new team. My mom and I looked on the web at all the different clubs in the North Kansas City area, and decided that none of them were what we were looking for. So I decided to try out for St. Joe Spike. I knew a girl that played for them last year, and she had a pretty great experience. After going to the tryout at Central High school, Sarah (the coach) offered me a spot on her 17's team playing outside hitter. I accepted her offer and am now playing for her. We have had two practices so far, and I am loving it all. They are very organized, and all the girls are very nice. I already knew some of the players from past events, and so that is helping with my fitting in.
We will play 6 tournaments from now until April when the season ends. Our first one being in Topeka on January 3.

Facebook Fast

Today Becca convinced me to give up Facebook for one whole week. I have become too dependent on it, and should instead be talking to people face to face, or over the phone. I think too many things on Facebook can have two different meanings, and can be taken too many different ways. So, I am staying off of Facebook for one whole week. Becca thinks that this will break my "addiction", and that my life will be better off after this. We shall see!

Pacheblel Rant

You've Got Mail

There is nothing like a good movie that reminds you of your life. I have seen this movie so many times, that it is sad, but I still continue to watch it. Sad days, happy days, tired days...it works for all of them. Plus, Meg Ryan's Starbucks drink in this movie is a caramel macchiato! (and if you didn't know that was my drink...well....you shouldn't be reading this blog because you don't know me at all!

Quotes:
I like Patricia. I *love* Patricia. Patricia makes COFFEE nervous.

The whole purpose of places like Starbucks is for people with no decision-making ability whatsoever to make six decisions just to buy one cup of coffee. Short, tall, light, dark, caf, decaf, low-fat, non-fat, etc. So people who don't know what the hell they're doing or who on earth they are can, for only $2.95, get not just a cup of coffee but an absolutely defining sense of self: Tall. Decaf. Cappuccino.

Because we're going to sell them cheap books and legal addictive stimulants. In the meantime, we'll just put up a big sign: "Coming soon, a FoxBooks superstore and the end of civilization as you know it."

I think he's married. Married three kids.

She was the nanny?

I'm going to geteucalyptus candles cuz it makes my apartment smell Moss-a.

Nelson Fox: Perfect. Keep those West-Side liberal nuts, psudo-intellectuals...
Joe Fox: Readers, Dad. They're called readers.
Nelson Fox: Don't do that, son. Don't romanticize them.

Kathleen Kelly: [about "NY152"] He couldn't possibly be the Rooftop Killer!
Christina Plutzker: Remember when you thought Frank might be the Unibomber?
Kathleen Kelly: That was different

I'll Tell Me Ma

I'll tell me ma when I go home
The boys won't leave the girls alone
They pulled my hair and they stole my comb
Well that's alright till I go home

She is handsome, she is pretty
She is the belle of Belfast City
She is courting..one two three!
Please won't you tell me, who is she

Albert Mooney says he loves her
All the boys are fighting for her
They knock at the door and they ring at the bell
Sayin' "Oh my true love, are you well?"
Out she comes as white as snow
Rings on her fingers, bells on her toes
Old Johnny Murray says she'll die
If she doesn't get the fellow witth the rovin' eye

I'll tell me ma when I go home
The boys won't leave the girls alone
They pulled my hair and they stole my comb
Well that's alright till I go home

She is handsome, she is pretty
She is the belle of Belfast city
She is courting..one two three!
Please won't you tell me, who is she

Let the wind and the rain and the hail blow high
And the snow come tumblin' from the sky
She's as nice as apple pie,
She'll get her own lad by and by
When she gets a lad of her own
She won't tell her ma when she comes home
Let them all come as they will
For it's Albert Mooney she loves still

I'll tell me ma when I go home
The boys won't leave the girls alone
They pulled my hair and they stole my comb
Well that's all right till I go home

She is handsome, she is pretty
She is the belle of Belfast City
She is courting..one, two, three!
Please won't you tell me, who is she


We had to sing this song at Lit class last night. I thought the lyrics were funny, so I'm putting them up on here!

The Prisoner of Zenda

Tonight, for the first time, I went to the homeschool literature class in Kansas City. It was really great, and I am plannning on attending in the future as well. I didn't have a chance to read the book, but this is the one that we were talking about this evening.
Everyone seemed to really like this book. It is such an anti-Disney book! In the end, the two lovers don't end up together. It is about putting your duty above love, and your own feelings. How life doesn't always end up the way we wish it would. That sometimes we find more pleasure in doing what is right, than in doing what we think is right. I am very much looking forward to reading this book. I think I should have time to read it over the Christmas break, so I will let you know what I think of it.